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ITT: SAD JEDI
Obi-Wan stood behind the little hovel he called home, tending to Rooh-the-eopie. He watched the first of the two suns sink below the horizon, halving the amount of light that bathed the desert. Dusk was here, and soon so would night, and so too would the bad dreams arrive: the images of terrified younglings and friends dying. But he closed his eyes against the early onslaught of thoughts. There was no need to let them plague him before their time; if he let them take him at any moment at all then there was no way that he could go on.
Opening his eyes, he stroked Rooh's snout carefully, calming her as she became restless. He made sure she was secured, fed and watered, then he moved onto her son, Tooh. Tooh wasn't big enough yet to be ridden, but that was alright. When he took Ferus to Mos Eisley they could walk and he would lead the eopies with them. He could ride Rooh home, or pick up some supplies and have her carry them. But the walk there would be good for them all, he thought.
Ferus Olin was inside the hut, taking care of whatever would pass for dinner that night. It wouldn't be long now before they parted ways, before Ferus took his leave to Alderaan, but for now the company was something of a comfort. Ferus was family, though they hardly got along perfectly. Ferus mouthed off, for one thing, and questioned Obi-Wan regularly. It was a little like having Anakin--
Obi-Wan stopped his thoughts again, patting Tooh and straightening up. Ferus wasn't Anakin. He never would be. But he had come closer to becoming Anakin than either of them dared talk about.
For now there was much pain for both of them.
He stood on the hill, looking east, toward the Lars homestead in the far distance. He waited for the second sun to set and wondered. He wished he could reach out with the Force to Luke, check that all was well, but he couldn't connect to him. Shouldn't, even if he could.
It was lonely in the desert, so far from everything, even with Ferus there. In some ways, Obi-Wan thought, more so because Ferus was there, comfort or not. They had both lost so much: friends, family, purpose. More than Obi-Wan could bear, he thought some days. But now they were guardians of the galaxy's hope. It would be a long, difficult job, but Obi-Wan would shoulder that burden. He only hoped that Ferus could too. He didn't know how the young man was coping. Obi-Wan barely knew how he was coping.
The sun finally disappeared, leaving him in relative darkness before the stars began to twinkle into life. He turned his chin up to the sky, searching for familiar constellations he would never find from this remote planet. He had never paid much attention to Tatooine in the past, even knowing it was Anakin's homeworld. It wasn't as if it should have mattered. But a remarkable amount of the galaxy seemed to orbit around this little planet on the outer rim.
And here they were, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Ferus Olin. Two men, stripped of everything, almost ready to say goodbye. How long would they need to hold together before peace returned?
Opening his eyes, he stroked Rooh's snout carefully, calming her as she became restless. He made sure she was secured, fed and watered, then he moved onto her son, Tooh. Tooh wasn't big enough yet to be ridden, but that was alright. When he took Ferus to Mos Eisley they could walk and he would lead the eopies with them. He could ride Rooh home, or pick up some supplies and have her carry them. But the walk there would be good for them all, he thought.
Ferus Olin was inside the hut, taking care of whatever would pass for dinner that night. It wouldn't be long now before they parted ways, before Ferus took his leave to Alderaan, but for now the company was something of a comfort. Ferus was family, though they hardly got along perfectly. Ferus mouthed off, for one thing, and questioned Obi-Wan regularly. It was a little like having Anakin--
Obi-Wan stopped his thoughts again, patting Tooh and straightening up. Ferus wasn't Anakin. He never would be. But he had come closer to becoming Anakin than either of them dared talk about.
For now there was much pain for both of them.
He stood on the hill, looking east, toward the Lars homestead in the far distance. He waited for the second sun to set and wondered. He wished he could reach out with the Force to Luke, check that all was well, but he couldn't connect to him. Shouldn't, even if he could.
It was lonely in the desert, so far from everything, even with Ferus there. In some ways, Obi-Wan thought, more so because Ferus was there, comfort or not. They had both lost so much: friends, family, purpose. More than Obi-Wan could bear, he thought some days. But now they were guardians of the galaxy's hope. It would be a long, difficult job, but Obi-Wan would shoulder that burden. He only hoped that Ferus could too. He didn't know how the young man was coping. Obi-Wan barely knew how he was coping.
The sun finally disappeared, leaving him in relative darkness before the stars began to twinkle into life. He turned his chin up to the sky, searching for familiar constellations he would never find from this remote planet. He had never paid much attention to Tatooine in the past, even knowing it was Anakin's homeworld. It wasn't as if it should have mattered. But a remarkable amount of the galaxy seemed to orbit around this little planet on the outer rim.
And here they were, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Ferus Olin. Two men, stripped of everything, almost ready to say goodbye. How long would they need to hold together before peace returned?
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He did understand the baffled look Obi-Wan was giving him though. Especially in the context of the roles they had had, all those years ago. But for Ferus, there was a different kind of normalcy in just having a bit of fun.
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No, he wouldn't. But it was better that way.
He dismissed the thought bodily, eyes trailing away for a moment.
Looking back to Ferus, Obi-Wan gave him an amused look and said, "and maybe you're not so bad yourself."
A joke, mostly. But still.
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"Thanks", he said, allowing some dryness to keep them on that same page. He tilted his head slightly and regarded Obi-Wan for a moment, then shook his head and looked away as well, a small smile still touching his lips.
Something that grew a softer and different as his thoughts darted unbidden to Roan yet again, and he hid a sigh as he asked, "do you still intend to trow me to the akk wolves?"
Which was in actuality asking if there was anything he actually needed or wanted that Ferus could help with.
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He thought it would be good for Ferus to go. To get some space and to interact with other people for a short time. It would also be good for Obi-Wan, perhaps, to have that distance for a short time. He was no longer used to the constant companionship that Ferus had been offering these past days.
Ultimately, it wasn't his choice.
"Has Tooh eaten everything yet?" he asked. Was there cause to hunt for supplies sooner rather than later?
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Which he had observed happening, the greedy little youngling sneaking more than his share without the mother quite noticing. Or maybe she let him, since most parents prioritised their young over themselves, but either way, Ferus didn't think they should let that happen if Rooh was to stay strong and healthy.
So more feed for them both. And maybe separating their feed somehow, to make it more difficult for Tooh to eat at the expense of his mother, especially the next time supplies would run low.
He hadn't expected he'd one day put such thought into eopies, but there you go.
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Eopies were a handful, apparently. Especially for a man who did not have any great affinity for animals--not like, say, Qui-Gon. And especially not young ones when Obi-Wan could hardly handle his own species' youth. He thought disparagingly back to his adventures with the infant Luke.
He stepped through the gate of the corral and approached the animals. Tooh seemed alarmed for a moment and started to amble/wobble away, but Obi-Wan crouched next to the calf and placed a hand on him. He reached out for him with the Force and the animal stilled.
"You really should be kinder to your mother, Tooh," Obi-Wan gently admonished. Without looking back up her said, louder for Ferus, "we might need to get more feed then, after all, if you don't think it can wait until your departure."
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He still didn't want to examine that, so why was he thinking about it?
Maybe in some small way he related to Tooh. A thought that might have been amusing, but the heaviness settled over him, and so it wasn't.
He realized that Obi-Wan thought that he should go. There was no real tip or reveal to it, it just came to him, maybe because that's how he would have handled someone stranded on his perch too.
"You only have to ask", he said for that reason, simply enough.
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Ferus was bright. Of course he sensed Obi-Wan's thoughts. But it wasn't simple, either. He could have told Ferus why he thought he should go, explained to him why it would be good for him. But he wasn't sure that Ferus wouldn't simply resist the idea, and he also wasn't sure if there was any necessity in explaining himself or the idea.
"I will not ask anything of you, Ferus," he said, half smiling to himself. No, had it been important he simply would have told him to go. "It is for you to choose."
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but that was just it.
He let go of his irritation and instead turned to face the guilt that was becoming so familiar. His choices had been wrong. His actions even moreso. Obi-Wan had told him, and he hadn't listened, and people were dead.
"I seem to make the wrong choices lately", he said with a sigh. "If you think I should go, I will."
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He thought, perhaps had he been more sparing with them, Ferus would have taken them more seriously where they counted. Could he have had a better effect on Ferus? Could Obi-Wan have helped prevented those wrong choices that Ferus was referring to?
"If you want my opinion," he said, rising, "then, yes. I think that you should go. But it's mostly inconsequential."
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Instead he turned to enter the hut, asked for what money there was to spare, and if there was anything else he should try to find.