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ITT: SAD JEDI
Obi-Wan stood behind the little hovel he called home, tending to Rooh-the-eopie. He watched the first of the two suns sink below the horizon, halving the amount of light that bathed the desert. Dusk was here, and soon so would night, and so too would the bad dreams arrive: the images of terrified younglings and friends dying. But he closed his eyes against the early onslaught of thoughts. There was no need to let them plague him before their time; if he let them take him at any moment at all then there was no way that he could go on.
Opening his eyes, he stroked Rooh's snout carefully, calming her as she became restless. He made sure she was secured, fed and watered, then he moved onto her son, Tooh. Tooh wasn't big enough yet to be ridden, but that was alright. When he took Ferus to Mos Eisley they could walk and he would lead the eopies with them. He could ride Rooh home, or pick up some supplies and have her carry them. But the walk there would be good for them all, he thought.
Ferus Olin was inside the hut, taking care of whatever would pass for dinner that night. It wouldn't be long now before they parted ways, before Ferus took his leave to Alderaan, but for now the company was something of a comfort. Ferus was family, though they hardly got along perfectly. Ferus mouthed off, for one thing, and questioned Obi-Wan regularly. It was a little like having Anakin--
Obi-Wan stopped his thoughts again, patting Tooh and straightening up. Ferus wasn't Anakin. He never would be. But he had come closer to becoming Anakin than either of them dared talk about.
For now there was much pain for both of them.
He stood on the hill, looking east, toward the Lars homestead in the far distance. He waited for the second sun to set and wondered. He wished he could reach out with the Force to Luke, check that all was well, but he couldn't connect to him. Shouldn't, even if he could.
It was lonely in the desert, so far from everything, even with Ferus there. In some ways, Obi-Wan thought, more so because Ferus was there, comfort or not. They had both lost so much: friends, family, purpose. More than Obi-Wan could bear, he thought some days. But now they were guardians of the galaxy's hope. It would be a long, difficult job, but Obi-Wan would shoulder that burden. He only hoped that Ferus could too. He didn't know how the young man was coping. Obi-Wan barely knew how he was coping.
The sun finally disappeared, leaving him in relative darkness before the stars began to twinkle into life. He turned his chin up to the sky, searching for familiar constellations he would never find from this remote planet. He had never paid much attention to Tatooine in the past, even knowing it was Anakin's homeworld. It wasn't as if it should have mattered. But a remarkable amount of the galaxy seemed to orbit around this little planet on the outer rim.
And here they were, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Ferus Olin. Two men, stripped of everything, almost ready to say goodbye. How long would they need to hold together before peace returned?
Opening his eyes, he stroked Rooh's snout carefully, calming her as she became restless. He made sure she was secured, fed and watered, then he moved onto her son, Tooh. Tooh wasn't big enough yet to be ridden, but that was alright. When he took Ferus to Mos Eisley they could walk and he would lead the eopies with them. He could ride Rooh home, or pick up some supplies and have her carry them. But the walk there would be good for them all, he thought.
Ferus Olin was inside the hut, taking care of whatever would pass for dinner that night. It wouldn't be long now before they parted ways, before Ferus took his leave to Alderaan, but for now the company was something of a comfort. Ferus was family, though they hardly got along perfectly. Ferus mouthed off, for one thing, and questioned Obi-Wan regularly. It was a little like having Anakin--
Obi-Wan stopped his thoughts again, patting Tooh and straightening up. Ferus wasn't Anakin. He never would be. But he had come closer to becoming Anakin than either of them dared talk about.
For now there was much pain for both of them.
He stood on the hill, looking east, toward the Lars homestead in the far distance. He waited for the second sun to set and wondered. He wished he could reach out with the Force to Luke, check that all was well, but he couldn't connect to him. Shouldn't, even if he could.
It was lonely in the desert, so far from everything, even with Ferus there. In some ways, Obi-Wan thought, more so because Ferus was there, comfort or not. They had both lost so much: friends, family, purpose. More than Obi-Wan could bear, he thought some days. But now they were guardians of the galaxy's hope. It would be a long, difficult job, but Obi-Wan would shoulder that burden. He only hoped that Ferus could too. He didn't know how the young man was coping. Obi-Wan barely knew how he was coping.
The sun finally disappeared, leaving him in relative darkness before the stars began to twinkle into life. He turned his chin up to the sky, searching for familiar constellations he would never find from this remote planet. He had never paid much attention to Tatooine in the past, even knowing it was Anakin's homeworld. It wasn't as if it should have mattered. But a remarkable amount of the galaxy seemed to orbit around this little planet on the outer rim.
And here they were, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Ferus Olin. Two men, stripped of everything, almost ready to say goodbye. How long would they need to hold together before peace returned?
no subject
On the other hand, Obi-Wan felt it too. The seeds of anger and hate. Perhaps not so strongly, no, but the Empire had taken everything from him.
Perhaps it was not the Jedi way, and so Obi-Wan would fight for acceptance in place of hate, but it was difficult to not feel it at all. But he had to move on.
Obi-Wan stood up again, looking to Ferus for a moment.
"I know," he said, equal in tone to Ferus. "But you mustn't let that be what drives you forward."
no subject
Ferus looked back at him, and the moment stretched on.
He could say, it's too late for that. Or, I know the consequences. He could say anything to clue Obi-Wan in on the dark side that flickered in him, that he could reach so easily. He pictured himself saying the words. He pictured Obi-Wan both shying away from him. Pictured him somehow fixing it. Some forgotten Jedi lesson that Ferus would actually welcome. On the other hand, wariness of knowing how easily he could fail again.
Blinking, he looked away to the cup of water, half empty, and he reached for it.
He said "I know", and he drank.
no subject
It was true that he suspected. He had felt the Dark Side surrounding Ferus, even if he did not know to what extent. So to hear Ferus talk of pain and hate, it worried him.
But clearly Ferus was not yet willing to speak to him of whatever had happened, he realized as he watched Ferus drink. He could continue to prompt him, but it seemed that it would not be that night that he got any further.
Well. You could lead a bordok to water...
"Of course," he agreed, sensing a general end to Ferus's openness for now. He reached out again, touching one of the young man's shoulders and said gently, "perhaps it is time to retire for the evening."
no subject
He felt tired. More than expected. More than he knew.
Sleep would be welcome. It had been for some time.
"Thanks for the water", he said after a short moment, and cast another look out the window.
no subject
He didn't answer the thanks, knowing full well what it meant, and simply inclined his head politely in acknowledgement. He picked up the cup and brought it to the counter, wiping it down quickly. Then he would finish securing the building before he went to sleep.
Nightmares would come to Obi-Wan again, he was sure, but he would wake again in the morning. He would continue on.
no subject
He didn't have nightmares. Or at least none that he remembered - not so far. But he'd wake on occasion with dread in his bones and slightly shaking hands, and he'd fall asleep again, and sleep longer into the day than he'd mean to.
He expected no less of the next morning.